I just popped a little gizmo from outbrain.com on this blog that allows the reader(s) to rate each post, under the assumption that my fragile ego will be able to handle the assault. This should help me figure out which columns to send to random editors when I’m in the mood for rejection.
The default star system goes from 1-5 (Bad, Boring, Okay, Good, Excellent). That seems like a tough grading scale to me. Excellent? This isn’t the Economist. Let’s use the following rating guidelines instead:
1 – The column came out of the screen like the girl in the Ring and ate my face off. (And also, please install a crippling virus on my computer.)
2 – The column outed me to my grandparents.
3 – The column made me watch that movie with Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson.
4 – The column put the toilet paper roll on backwards.
5 – The column was legible.
Also, if you notice that every post already has a five-star rating when it’s posted, it’s probably just a glitch in the software. And if there are two five-star ratings every time, it’s probably a glitch in my mom’s software, too.